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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments often turn “detached from reality”, he admits. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often succeeded by a “crash”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his behavior, making him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from external sources. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and was later evaluated by a clinician. However, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis without having independently formed that realization on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they feel beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, definitions vary what is meant by the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people conceal it, due to widespread prejudice associated with the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through actions such as pursuing power,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

While up to 75% of people diagnosed with the condition are males, studies suggests this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, similar to everything in society,” explains a young adult who shares content on her dual diagnosis on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she shares, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I either go into self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this response – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures as a child. I’ve had to teach myself continuously what is and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that growing up,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my family members were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Origins of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be linked to early life adversity. Heredity is a factor,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his doctor, he was directed to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for talking therapy through national services (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: The estimate was it is expected around in a few months.”

John has only told a handful of people about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he comments. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number