Former England captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and hesitating to completely absorb that at the minute," he commented.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, states conversely he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his immediate wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the condition worsens.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I deal with matters differently, and after I have the information, it's more manageable," he continued.
Initial Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the problem, a number of scans revealed neural pathways in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're understandably very affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't feel sick. I don't experience unwell
"My indications are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be able to accomplishing whatever I want. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Condition Development
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the charity MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a 33% of people within a twelve months and above half within 24 months of detection, as eating and inhalation become harder.
Treatment can only delay decline.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," stated an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Impact
Talking from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced licking the tears off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the moment.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be very strongly concentrated on just embracing and appreciating all aspects now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been really blessed that the primary determination I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much period with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those periods back."
Player Connection
Elite competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the prevalence of the illness is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by limiting the air accessible and producing damage to motor neurone cells, regular, intense training can initiate the condition in those previously genetically susceptible.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, unwavering style to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a tackle pad and started engaging in collisions.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the decisive passage of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning field goal.
Support Network
Moody has already told Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a handful of other former colleagues about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the present, just having that type of love and recognition that people are available is what's important," he commented.
"Rugby is such a wonderful community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to label your passion your profession, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Achieving this for so extended a duration with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will wish to assist in any way they can and I await having those talks."
